For Your Enjoyment - A Compilation of the World's Strangest Sexual Fantasies

So a lot of us generally have some kind of fantasy, whether it's a threesome, being tied up, having food involved etc, most are generally deemed socially acceptable - to a degree, but what about when they get really freaky? 


These are all real legit stories I've seen online. I thought I'd take a break from actually having to be creative, and just find some amusing, juicy stuff to laugh at.

"my strangest sexual fantasy is a woman cutting off my penis and balls with a knife. Literally."

Lets look at some bizzare sexual practices... 


Agalmatophilia

Agalmatophilia is a paraphilia concerned with the sexual attraction to a statue, doll, mannequin or other similar figurative object. The attraction may include the desire for actual sexual contact with the objects, a fantasy of having sexual (or non-sexual) encounters with the animate or inanimate instances of the preferred objects, the act of watching encounters between the objects themselves, or sexual pleasure gained from thoughts of being transformed or transforming another into the preferred object. Agalmatophilia may also encompass Pygmalionism which describes a state of love for an object of one’s own creation.

This reminds me of that Family Guy where Peter cheats on Lois with that cardboard cut-out of the woman in the bikini. 

Autopederasty

Autopederasty is the near-impossible act of sticking one’s own fully-erect penis in one’s own rectum. Yes. Only a small percentage of people can do it, but it’s possible! There is a porno called “Go Fuck Yourself” that is devoted to the act, even going so far as to instruct people on how to do it! NOTE: There are two other, more familiar variants: Autofellatio is when a man gives himself oral sex; Then, there is Autocunnilingus, where a woman gives herself oral sex.

Isn't this what Marilyn Manson supposedly had ribs removed for?? :/




Emetophilia

Talk about blowing chunks! Obviously, the words “erotic” and “vomiting” are not often used together. However, they do have similarities: Both trigger the release of hormones that make you feel better; both are caused by stimulus; and, for men at least, both involving having fluids get forced through a tube and out of an orifice. The primary dissimilarity is that most people do not associate throwing-up with a pleasurable experience. Dr. Robert J. Stoller, a renowned sexologist and psychiatrist, begs to differ; Here he discusses the cases of three women: The first woman doesn’t do the Technicolor-yawn herself, instead, “…I can reach a sure orgasm by imagining someone vomiting in a hard, humiliating fashion…”; The second woman actually experiences an orgasm every time she throws up; The third and final woman describes it like this: “…Vomiting for me is like…an orgasm in that I’m tensed, I feel the…intense flood of good feelings almost continually throughout the vomiting and experience relief and quiet warmth in my body when I’m finished. It is not identical to an orgasm. I do not feel it intensely in my genitals alone, but I do feel it there as well as the rest of my body and…in my mouth…”. NOTE: There is also a practice known as “Roman-showers”, which is to become aroused by being vomited upon. 

Its funny how these remind me of Family Guy moments..

As well as these oddities, I've also seen people during my research that are into amputees, mummifying people, eating sushi off naked women etc. Plus you have stuff like violence, bestiality. What a weird world we live in.... Meh, as long as you're not hurting anyone against their will, whatever turns you on ;)

Back to School

One of the weirdest sensations ever is revisiting somewhere that you spent a lot of time, a long while ago. Like if you move away from a town, and the go back to see relatives, it's pretty much a given (if you're anything like me) that you will "Oooh" and "Ahh" at the new shops/parks/buildings etc. The high street near where I lived in London now has a Subway! I'm so proud :')

But for those of you who like me have left school, revisiting is extraordinarily odd, especially if its at good ol' TBS. Hell, even the reception has moved! Mrs Oliver will murder you if you don't sign in as a visitor, but how are us alumnis supposed to know the main entrance is in block 5??

Plus, all the kids look younger and more annoying. They all seem like extreme versions of who we were, the orange girls are even more orange, the geeks are even more snot covered, and the short kids, are, well, really damn short. 

However, luckily for me, I never need to go back now :) I have all my old coursework, and all my certificates, but for those of you who still need to collect stuff, have fun in the awkward mess. :D

It's horrible seeing those annoying kids in the year below running the place ;)

Hehe.

Let's Talk About Sexy Sex!

Ok, so there are a lot of myths and legends about sex, and subjects surrounding it, so I thought a fun way to relaunch this blog would be to explore these. I've done some research, both personal and on the web and found some of the weirdest myths to show you. And best of all, they are all true!

1. You can tell if a bloke is gay by comparing their ring and index finger.
I didn't believe this one! It seems completely impossible. But apparently a longer ring finger means you have more testosterone in your body, so you're all manly and macho, possibly aggressive, queer hating, drink a lot of beer, carry a shotgun for shooting immigrants, kill boar with your bear hands etc (ok I've started exaggerating here... it's mainly that you're more boisterous.)

On the other hand a longer index finger means more estrogen, so you're more feminine in an over-sensitive, neurotic kinda way. But if you're a straight guy with a longer index finger don't start questioning your sexuality just yet, because...

If the two fingers are very similar in length, you are most likely to be gay, and this applies to girls too.

 

Most of the time this can be transferred to females also. I personally have a longer index finger. So I'm neurotic. Yeah, sounds like me. Anyone reading find this doesn't apply to them?

2. Asian Men are Tiny, Black Men are Massive.

Not surprisingly, some people will deny this rumour with a passion, some will accept it. ;) But according to statistics it's true. However me and a friend have both had encounters with Asian men, and I found mine to be on the disappointing side, whereas she was thoroughly satisfied with hers. Although there are many factors in this. Mine was a drunken one night thing, so my perception may been out of whack, and hers was a long term relationship, so she may have felt responsible for defending his member. Maybe I have higher standards. :P Who knows? But statistics don't lie... Oh wait...

Also, anyone else wondered or know whether this one applies to girls?

3. Girls Masturbate.

Many boys think that absolutely no girls do it! Many girls think they can't do it! It's normal and common. Sure it's harder but it happens. Contrary to popular believe girls have exactly the same sex drive as boys, we're just less "promiscuous". Allegedly. But sadly lots of girls think that we can't, and that it's weird, look at this question I stumbled across on Yahoo Answers:

"Should girls masturbate?

may sound a little weird but i am 15 and have never masturbated but i heard about girls doing it and was wondering if it was normall to do so

please help

Additional Details

if so how do you do it"

Poor girl. The winning answer, in case you were interested, was "why not?" haha.

4. Orgasms Cure Depression.

This is totally true! I've seen it in so many books and on TV, plus on leaflets at therapy etc. Having between 3-5 orgasms a week significantly lowers depression, helps your esteem AND helps you lose weight. SO GO FOR IT!

On the flip side, here's a selection of hilarious things people have believe about sex that aren't true...

There's no risk if you're standing on a telephone directory

You can’t get pregnant on a boat

You get pregnant if you take folic acid 

You can’t get pregnant your first time

A boy is only fertile if his testicles feel cold

You can’t get pregnant if you 'wash' with coca cola

You can’t get pregnant having sex standing up

You are definitely gay if you fantasise about people of the same sex

Jumping up and down after sex stops you getting pregnant

You can get pregnant through oral sex

You can reuse condoms

If you don't have a condom you can use clingfilm or a crisp packet