Am I a bad person? Or just brutally honest?

Ok, so you may have noticed the new poll on this site, just below the tabs bar thingy, asking you a question:

You save up for weeks to buy a new car, but before you get to the shop, a kid comes along and steals all your money. You follow him and realise he stole the money to pay for his mother's medical treatment. She has cancer. What do you do?

Let him keep all the money, you can save up again.
You'd have preferred him to ask you first. Stealing is wrong. But you let him keep some of the money.
Take it all back and advise him to seek help elsewhere. It's not your fault he's in that situation. You worked hard for this money.

So, dear friends, let me elaborate for you. I myself was asked this question, (or similar, I forget) and I'm interested as to how you'll respond before and after reading my explanation. So, if you're dedicated to read this whole thing, please now vote on the above poll.

Done?

Good :)

I'll tell you what I put now. I responded with the third option. I would not give the child any of my money. This question was on a Harry Potter quiz designed to put you in a house, and I got Slytherin. But is it really so wrong to put this answer, initially yes it does seem selfish, but think about it:

Firstly, this kid hasn't asked your permission. For all he knows you could be buying this car to drive around your recently crippled spouse, who has to regularly go to hospital for check ups. This could be your first car that you've spent years dreaming about and finally saved up enough to afford. For all he knows you could have been dreaming about this day for years, or have a greater need for the money than even he does.

Secondly, what is the money even going to get him? Surely if she has cancer, she should be seeing a doctor, I can't see what he'd need money for. The NHS isn't unreasonable, if you can't afford prescriptions and stuff they'll let you off. Aren't these people on benefits?!

Also, the money would be much better served in some kind of cancer research program. Helping one person is nothing compared to the thousands you could help that way.

It's not your fault, and it's not your problem. Mean as that may sound, there are ways of dealing with this that don't involve thievery. Maybe you donate a huge proportion of your salary to charity. Maybe this is the first thing you've bought for yourself in years. Even if the mother can't get treatment from the NHS, doesn't mean you should have to pay for all of it. Certainly not if he's stolen. He should get a job, or ask people for help. And not just one person, spread the costs.

So now I ask you, am I selfish in saying I wouldn't help this kid? Or am I just more honest with myself than most people?

At the bottom of this page is the same poll again, and after reading this I would like you to put what you would do honestly. Cast away what you'd like to think you'd do and start thinking about what you'd really do. If your answers are different, and you're okay with people knowing what you put, I'd love to have you comment on this post about what changed your mind.

Please join in, this stuff fascinates me. :)

However, please don't feel obliged to vote should you find this subject insensitive or are in any way offended. I know quite a few of the people reading this will have lost a friend to cancer recently, and mean no disrespect.

YAY! :D

I finally invested in a new domain name :) You can now get here by going to xenopuff.com


EXCITING :D

If you don't like it, go f**k Luigi in the ass...

Ok so that last blog will be a bloody hard act to follow. It pretty much tripled my blog visits O.o I've literally been too scared to write now, because nothing I can say will be as good :P So I've been sexing up the site itself instead :)

Anyway, I wanted to talk to you all about Katy Perry. Previously in this post, I slagged her off no end. HOWEVER, my opinion of her has now changed. My unnatural hatred has been turned into respect, and here's why: She included Rebecca Black in her music video, which, her decision or not, was a pretty classy thing to do. (Yes I did just say "classy". Deal with it.) I've always felt bad for dear ol' Rebecca, I mean, that appalling song wasn't really her fault. She's a victim of what the music industry is becoming, and more importantly, her record company. It's not her we should be abusing, its the label that pushed her into recording the world's worst song. (Although there was apparently a choice of two songs... So imagine how bad the other one must have been...) So yeah, having her in the video earned back my respect, which obviously means Katy Perry can retire now, having fulfilled this crucial goal.

T.G.I.N.F.

On the other hand, I notice the Wii is boasting more add-ons to improve the functionality of the controllers, and is mass-advertising this new technology at present. Am I the only person who thinks they are taking the piss?! Nintendo are making you idiots shell out tons of cash for stuff that frankly it was supposed to ALREADY do when it was released! Why are you having to pay AGAIN for something THEY didn't follow through on?! Thus I will not dignify the Wii with ever acknowledging it's existence again after this post. I will never touch one of the bloody things again, controllers, EXPENSIVE ADD-ONS and all, let alone play a GAME on one. (Although frankly I couldn't anyway. The graphics make me want to go on a killing spree.) So I hope you all enjoy your expensive devices that do what an arcade could do with House of the Dead in the 90s. The Wii is dead to me. It's pretty much made by Satan.

There. Rant over. :)

OMG! EVERYONE! QUICK!

OMFG THE THING IS JEWISH! :D

Embarassing things I used to believe about sex when I was little.

If there's one thing I have to thank my mum for, it's for never bullshitting me about sex. There was never any of that "Mummies and Daddies wish really hard and babies appear," crap. She was honest. Naturally that made me the most knowledgeable person about sex at first school, a position of great honour, which, as I recall, I abused terribly. However, I never really picked up some of the finer details and so spent many years in the dark about so many things. Here's a few things I genuinely believed, cherry picked just for you. 

1. The man pees inside the woman.

Why don't we have cool stuff like THIS in Trafalgar Square? Way better than crappy lions.

Mum told me the man releases a "special fluid" inside the girl that contains a "seed". Being naive and young, I assumed it was piss. And that all piss contained this seed... I then started to get paranoid about toilet seats. Those things are notoriously covered in urine! What if I got some inside me?! This was just about the time I stopped using public toilets.

2. Penises point outwards, not upwards.

It looks like a shark fin...

I knew about erections, but all I'd seen were those pictures of pubescent boys at swimming lessons, their throbbing members bursting out in a thoroughly forward direction. I'm talking 90 degrees here, a perfect, incontestable "T" shape. If you turn the T on its side ;) So imagine my horror on encountering my first erect penis and it pointing very much towards the ceiling. I mean sure, everything made so much more sense with this new knowledge, but I had spent years trying to figure out how you would go about having sex with the 90° penis (my conclusion was something similar to what we would call a wheelbarrow position), and now I felt utterly humiliated and rather dumb. Plus I must have looked very shocked when I saw his manhood, which  would be a crippling blow to any gentleman's self esteem.

I can imagine this being a bastard on her arms.

3. Sex is just in and out once, not repetitive motion.

Watch from about 2 minutes in. They're not moving! It looks like she's just sitting on him!

Along Came Polly was the only film I'd watched with sex in that I'd actually noticed, and seriously, they make sex look like you're just sitting there, inside each other, waiting to finish. I had no idea until literally mid losing my virginity that this wasn't the case. I remember thinking to myself "Nooo! This isn't how you do it! Why is he moving so much? Is he trying to get comfy? Wuhhh?" As you can guess it wasn't an experience I enjoyed much, if at all, but at least I learned this lesson.

4. Only some boys have testicles.

Because my young eyes had only seen a handful of penises through incidents like accidentally walking in on my dad in the bath, kids getting them out the the playground etc, I had seen testicles once, and could not for the life of me figure out what they were. I think I put them down to some sort of growth and ignored their existence for quite a while.

If only I'd seen this lamp sooner!

5. Blow jobs are literally just blowing on a penis, and have little to do with sex.

Can't really elaborate on this one. But I will say that the name is horrifically misleading in this way, and you learn the term YEARS before you are actually required to give one.

6. Booby traps were literally traps that grabbed your boobies.

Naturally I shared all these view with my classmates, some of whom actually believed me and so I'd like to apologize to anyone who went to Holy Trinity CE Primary School if I blurred your view of sex in any way.

If anyone else had any stupid view like this, please comment with them so I know I'm not the only retard in town ;)

This shit's IMPORTANT dammit!

You all need to see this :)



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Location:Salisbury St,Blandford Forum,United Kingdom