So next year, I turn 20. That's a big number. That's probably a quarter of my life gone already. But I have some ideas for the next three, which I would like to share with you.
1. Somebody REALLY needs to invent a teleporter.
That or more trains/buses. Have you tried living in Blandford without a drivers license? It's a struggle to get to Tescos, heaven forbid you should want to go somewhere a little further.
Like London for example; you have to get either a lift or really awkward bus to Salisbury, pay £30 for a train, and the whole thing can take like 5 hours. In a car you can get there in half that... Without a car the only place worth going to that we can actually reach is Poole. And that is a massive let down unless you can afford one of those blue "m" buses to get to Tower Park or the beach...
2. The newsfeed on Facebook is really boring.
And yet I still check it. A lot. I get that bored. It's all stuff like "GOD I'M SO DEPRESSED I HATE YOU!!" (Without anyone tagged so we can't even laugh at the victim of this status. How boring) or "I'm about to eat some chips/drink some beer/watch the telly" Ok, I'm guilty of this one too, but at least make it slightly more interesting with some detail! Like "I am stealing Ellen's curly fries in the Railway while she's playing Pool. She hasn't noticed :D" (Guilty of this one too....)
Or "Goodnight, Facebook" Facebook is just a lot of code and some severs. Say "Goodnight people on Facebook" or at least "Goodnight, Mark Zuckerberg"....
3. Everything is better with a Chupa Chups lolly.
EVERYTHING. Even swimming. Even eating other food. If you have a lolly. It's all good. You can use it as an excuse to avoid conversation with someone, get a sugar boost, wipe it on annoying people's faces... Ok maybe the last one is a bit gross but I'm fairly certain some prick stuck one in my hair once. Well THE JOKE'S ON HIM! I LOVE CHUPA CHUPS. HAHAHAHA.
4. Never let a 34 year old woman near a motor home.
Or she will give up her bed and spend her nights sleeping on the driveway. And buy cushions for it... Cushions you can't even sleep on...
5. You should be able to text through Wi-fi.
So I may not have signal, but I AM CONNECTED TO THE INTERNET! Why is that not good enough?! My network is the worst for signal in the country. :( It must be so simple to allow you to text and call through your network on the internet, without having to resort to Skype or something. I pay a lot of money to hardly ever be able to use my phone. SORT IT OUT 3!!
6. Keep your discs in their boxes.
Seriously. Paul and I both own a copy of Sims 3, and fancied installing it on James's beastly computer, however, when we looked, neither of our copies were in the boxes! I have spent nearly 2 hours in desperate search for at least one of the discs, but to no avail. Keep things in their boxes, children!!
7. There is nobody left on Halo 3.
It's depressing.
8. It's embarrassing getting your card declined.
Even more so when you are applying for a job at the same time. Yeah I can't buy this Pepsi, but will you hire me? xD
9. People should be re-taught good handwriting periodically through their lives.
Seriously. I have this absolutely lovely welsh god mother, who sends me all these cute cards, BUT I CAN'T READ A WORD SHE IS SAYING! And I don't have good enough signal to call her, even in my own house...
10. Pirate ships are cooler than castles. But fortresses beat both.
So sorry to the people that were going to buy me a pirate ship. :P
As you can see, those were some pretty important life lessons right there. I only hope my next month is as insightful as this one haha!
