Yes we are rich enough to have all of these things in our house...

I'm noticing more and more than random crap is being shoved in our face that we don't need. (well actually this has always happened, but I'm talking technology...well actually that's always happened too... let's not get too hung up on this...) So I'm going to write about the ones I've tried, and how good they have actually been...

Facetime for iPhone 4

When I first saw this it looked pretty pointless. It's basically Skype.  And the front facing camera on the iPhone is CRAP! The ad is so cheesy too, with the injured man watching his teammates as they show him a trophy they must've won without him... I always wondered why he didn't go to the game and watch from the sidelines... It's only a broken leg... Surely wheelchairs were invented for this very purpose??? But I digress, to me it seemed pointless. However I have since changed my mind. This is going to raise eyebrows and you will probably get the wrong end of the stick here, but it's really fun chatting to my boyfriend late at night on it :) NO WE HAVE NOT TRIED FACETIME SEX YOU SICK BASTARDS (we live in the same cul-de-sac, what would be the point? :L Anyway, as long as you both have Wi-Fi its a great way to communicate. Especially for me. I have a combination of both the phone AND network most notorious for poor signal, so talking over Wi-Fi handles this problem nicely. 5 stars!

XBOX Kinect

I was never excited about Kinect, because I didn't believe computers recognizing your individual limbs without some kind of green screen would be possible. I assumed Kinect was an elaborate Eyetoy. How wrong I was. Kinect does work very well. You can move your hands and legs and your avatar on screen will mimic you perfectly. (Even rather rude gestures) It really is quite cool. However the novelty wears off pretty quickly and you soon realize that they're expecting you to stand up to play a video game. And if you know me AT ALL you'll know that movement - not my cup of tea. 2 Stars...

Apple TV

We used to have a mac connected to our tv which we used to watch films and tv shows we've downloaded/ripped from the Drobo. (our hard drive) Then Paul replaced this with an Apple TV. Which does the same job but with a remote instead of a keyboard and mouse, and a simplified interface. And when it comes to computers, I HATE simplified. Computers are my thing, I'm good at them. So it's fun having things more complicated to A. Make me look like an expert more and B. confuse lesser beings. I don't like it at all. But I'd  probably still recommend it for retards. 3 Stars.

The iPad

I thought the iPad was bloody ridiculous when it was first advertised. It was just a massive iPhone!! (And at the time I didn't like those either...) And I can tell you... It pretty much IS a massive iPhone. But iPhones are great! Yeah it's oversimplified again and I'd never call it a computer in the way laptops and desktops are, but iPads have their place. I want my own one for Uni for lectures and stuff, there are some great apps for note taking. Plus playing Plants Vs Zombies on it is amazing. 5 Stars :D

The Kindle

I decided early on that the Kindle is a pointless piece of crap. And unlike the rest of the gadgets outlined here - my opinion has not changed. As far as I'm concerned, the Kindle only has 2 qualities worth mentioning:

- It's screen isn't a screen it's more like an etch-a-sketch, so the sun doesn't reflect on it.

- You can go a bazillion years without charging it.

However:

- As the screen emits no light you can't read it at night without a light. What about on a car journey? Problematic much??

- Why would you even need to go that long without charging something??? Where do you live?? The jungle???

Plus, I don't read. So totally pointless. 1 Star.

Things that shouldn't exist

I'm in one of those moods where I hate everything. Even inanimate objects. Where I feel like if they look at me funny I'll throw them across the room, or pour acid on them. I don't really know why I feel like this. I had a pretty big argument with someone important to me last night, but we made up and spent time together, and then I made up for the lost sleep today. Plus I saw friends and ate yummy food. So why am I so pissed off??? God knows. However in the meantime I'm going to write a list of things I hate. This may seem similar to my last post, but that was about celebs. This is broader ;)




Mushrooms

Rastafarian Death Mushrooms

Medusoid Mycelium

Most people have heard about my little.... err... problem. I'm Mycophobic, meaning I have an irrational and inexplicable fear of mushrooms and fungi. I have a few ideas where this could have originated from, such as the stoner mushrooms in The 10th Kingdom, that try to lure you to your death in cool Rasta voices, the Medusoid Mycelium in the Lemony Snicket Unfortunate Events books that grow in your throat and kill you, and my mother's threats in my childhood about drying off after a bath. Apparently if you don't dry everywhere, like under your knees and such, fungi will grow all over your body. I think she meant fungal infections etc but it had me freaked for a long time. Basically when I'm around mushrooms I get scared I'm going to inhale the spores, and that they will grow in my throat and choke/poison me to death... Crazy, I know, but I can't help it...




The Sound of People Chewing

What a Chump..

I absolutely HATE listening to people eat. Especially if they open their mouth a lot and it's all squelchy. Eurgh. I can't help being quietly disgusted by anyone who eats in my presence. Which isn't exactly fair as I'm no silent eater, (I'm one of those annoying people in the cinema who eats crunchy nachos) but it's nothing I can help. It's repulsive and before now it's put me off my food entirely. Sometimes food will even fall out of peoples mouthes, and you just DON'T KNOW WHERE TO LOOK. Eating should be done alone, in my opinion. 




The Dark

This picture pretty much sums my
life up...

I hate to admit I am little afraid of the dark... Still. Even up to the age of about 16-17 I had to have a bedside lamp most nights. I'm not sure why... Sometimes I even slept with my main ceiling light thingy on. I can deal with bright, harsh light, but not darkness. When the level of darkness reaches the stage where there is no difference between opening and shutting my eyes, I'm freaked. Nowadays I'm listening to stuff on my iPhone and the light from that suffices as I drift off to sleep, but it's pretty embarrassing at other peoples houses. With my boyfriend it's ok because I'm sharing a bed with him, but sleeping on the floor somewhere, spiders could be crawling all over me and I wouldn't see!!

While we're on the subject of sleep I also can't sleep with my back to my room/door incase monsters creep up on me in the night... Yeah, I'm that cool.




Slow Computers

Just don't forget to save...

Slow computers suck. And don't be under the misguided impression that macs are better. Macs are Windows with out Ctrl-Alt-Del. No matter how good your processor is, how many gigs of RAM you have, how few applications you have running, your computer can STILL CRASH. Yes, even your mac. We have a mac that takes a good 3-4 mins to open iTunes, and another minute or so to start playing a song or video. Admittedly it's linked to 2 Apple TVs and our laptops connect to the external hard drive through it, but still! 

These things are evil..

My Scales
For two reasons, A. you have to kick it really hard to turn it on, and B. it never shows me nice numbers :(








Velvet

Eurghhhh

I don't understand how anyone can stand let-alone enjoy the feeling of velvet. It literally sends shudders down my spine. It feels almost dry and moisture sucking, like some paper towels we had at my old job, (but don't get me started on those...) Personally I like whatever duvets are made of, and my tolerance of fabrics ends there.







Blu-ray

Fuck you, Blu-ray!

Blu-ray seems to me like nothing more than a chance to re-sell us films we already own, with a slightly different case, for ridiculous amounts of money. Ok so maybe for a film like Avatar there may be advantages to Blu-ray, but Pretty Woman? Wayne's World? How exactly can these films be improved? They weren't filmed in HD, and surely by increasing the resolution you're just making it look crappier. And the extract in-film special features don't exactly make it worth it. What's the point seeing as more and more people are moving straight from DVDs to downloads anyway? And being an avid collector of DVDs myself, I don't want to see the day that DVD players are as hard to obtain as VCRs...






How Un-Photogenic I Am

The day we decided to play with my
purple make-up set...

Seriously, have you seen pictures of me?! Ok I don't have a great complexion, and my nose is kinda big, but other than that I think I'm ok, yet in photos I look like I'm evil/drunk/have been hit by a car/having a bad hair day/contemplating murdering the person taking the picture/all of the above. It's not fair! Look at the picture of me and Bronni, she looks pretty, and I look like a man in a wig. My absurdly odd fringe seems to be in a battle with my nose over who can take up most of my face. :(