Showing posts with label 360. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 360. Show all posts

Wednesday, 30 November 2011

How to Live Life Like an RPG

So with the arrival of Skyrim, a lot of us, (or at least most of my nerdy Facebook friends) have been losing their degrees/jobs/social lives to its warm embrace. It has the same addictive tendencies as World of Warcraft - but luckily it's not quite as nerdy or time consuming so I don't feel like a complete dick playing it :D

But games like this often have a real charm to them that I admire. They're not like Halo or COD or most other games out there. You're not a pre-designed character running through pre-designed levels, doing what the developers have decided what you should do. You're plonked into a new and interesting world and left to explore at your own pace, without a huge difference between the game world and reality. You can get a house, get married, go to jail, carry so much shit you can barely walk, etc. And frankly, I'd add RPG life to real life any day. So here's what I propose in order to live in the real world.

The Basics
† Run around with both your hands held up to your face, Skyrim style. (Can be equipped with swords/daggers/spells)


† Carry everything you have ever owned ever in a bag that's barely noticeable on your person.

† Refer to your health in hit points.


Make your very own questing interface!
Unless you're a pretentious twat who "doesn't need a fancy phone to feel socially valid," you will most likely have a new-ish phone, with GPS.

iPhones can already send you reminders when you reach certain destinations (eg "Remind me when I get to Boots to buy condoms and handsoap" or "Remind me when I get home to bitchslap my wife and neglect my kids") this technology could easily be developed into the quest interface found in most RPG style games.
Go Shopping in Tescos (Reward 200XP)
  • Get Milk ✓
  • Get Bread ✓
  • Get Alcohol ✓
  • (Optional) Pay a visit to the vegetable section. - BONUS QUEST FAILED
  • Pay the cashier OR attempt to leave without paying. ✓
  • Escape the city guards.
† Keep a tally of your XP gained and occasionally level up. - You can use your level to impress girls and get better jobs!

† Never talk to the same person twice. If they're not asking you a favour they will probably just repeat the same phrase infinitely.

† Kill any bugs/creatures you see for XP and dropped gold/materials.

† Smash all boxes/crates/vases you see. They've probably got owner-less unattended treasure in them.


† Avoid forests and high grass unless you're confident you're a high enough level to face the shit you'll come across.

† Maintain drinking a potion can restore stats. Eg fruit smoothies restore health. Red Bull restores stamina.

† Alcohol gives you an immediate stamina boost but it will regenerate 25% slower.

† Consider making all future combat turn-based.

† Feeling envious of someone? Kill them and loot their corpse. It'll evaporate eventually.

† Go into any shop and attempt to sell the crap you find on your quests.

† If you're badly wounded, sleep for an hour. You'll be fully recovered.

† Carry deodorant and matches for fire spells, liquid nitrogen for ice spells, and a cattle prod or a taser for lightning spells.  



† Address people by their jobs or social status. (eg. Guard, Merchant, Peasant etc)

† Ask new people overly personal questions so they can send you on a quest to recover a family heirloom or settle the score with an old enemy.

† When you've done favours demand payment in gold, XP or items.

† Hold and rotate items really close to your face to examine them.

† Create a detailed inventory and weigh everything you own. Find your capacity and become "over encumbered" when attempting to lift more than this amount.

† Lastly, when you're done, sit down cross legged in the street to "Log Off"

Alternatively, if this is all too much for you, just sit somewhere for hours on end repeating the same few phrases and be an NPC.

Hope this helped you all have some great ideas on how to make the most out of this Christmas! If you have more comment and I'll add them ;)

Tuesday, 9 November 2010

Up Late Again...

So here I am.

It's 2:52AM and I am sat on a bean bag alone in my living room, waiting for time to pass. Occasionally wiggling my XBOX controller. My boyfriend is asleep upstairs as I sit here munching the Ferrero Rocher he kindly bought me. Every few minutes I will divert my attention from my mac to the TV, to check how my game is getting along.

Perhaps such an odd practice deserves an explanation.


Few games are as painful as the Fable series. Don't get me wrong, I love them, and thoroughly enjoy them. However when you're low on cash it's a pretty tedious process.
I am currently playing Fable 3, and I've recently become Queen of Albion, but I have to defend my kingdom from The Darkness (incidentally not the band, fronted by Justin Hawkins - that would greatly improve the story for me...) and to do so I have to have 650,000 gold (there may be a few more or less zeros but I am far too tired to count properly). The gold is to fund an army, the training of soldiers, and general preparations for battle. I have an in-game year to earn this much money, and, as I'm a Queen, I have plenty of other duties to attend to. When I complete my royal schedule set out for me for the "Current Day" many months will skip and I will find myself with a good 60 or so less days in which to prepare.

What makes this worse is income is received every 5 minutes. Not in-game minutes - REAL minutes. Months could pass in these minutes! So I have found the only solution is to stand around waiting for money to spawn, and I must've been at it for about 3 hours now. I am up to 631,818, which is so annoyingly close. But I know in 5 minutes time when I finally have enough money to continue with the ACTUAL STORYLINE, more people will no doubt be trying to scrounge hundreds of thousands from me, what with me being Queen and all. And too keep my Good Karma, I will have to shell out...

See to me this just feels like bad design. The most boring cheat ever invented. And in this circumstance I can't just leave the console on over night, oh no, that'd be FAR too easy. Money from rented housing decreases as the condition of the house decays over time.

In short, I'm quite tired and want to go to bed, however I also want to finish the story. The time taken to write this has earned me the money I needed. However I can't help but feel I am slightly wasting my life...

All Time Faves :)