If you don't like it, go f**k Luigi in the ass...

Ok so that last blog will be a bloody hard act to follow. It pretty much tripled my blog visits O.o I've literally been too scared to write now, because nothing I can say will be as good :P So I've been sexing up the site itself instead :)

Anyway, I wanted to talk to you all about Katy Perry. Previously in this post, I slagged her off no end. HOWEVER, my opinion of her has now changed. My unnatural hatred has been turned into respect, and here's why: She included Rebecca Black in her music video, which, her decision or not, was a pretty classy thing to do. (Yes I did just say "classy". Deal with it.) I've always felt bad for dear ol' Rebecca, I mean, that appalling song wasn't really her fault. She's a victim of what the music industry is becoming, and more importantly, her record company. It's not her we should be abusing, its the label that pushed her into recording the world's worst song. (Although there was apparently a choice of two songs... So imagine how bad the other one must have been...) So yeah, having her in the video earned back my respect, which obviously means Katy Perry can retire now, having fulfilled this crucial goal.

T.G.I.N.F.

On the other hand, I notice the Wii is boasting more add-ons to improve the functionality of the controllers, and is mass-advertising this new technology at present. Am I the only person who thinks they are taking the piss?! Nintendo are making you idiots shell out tons of cash for stuff that frankly it was supposed to ALREADY do when it was released! Why are you having to pay AGAIN for something THEY didn't follow through on?! Thus I will not dignify the Wii with ever acknowledging it's existence again after this post. I will never touch one of the bloody things again, controllers, EXPENSIVE ADD-ONS and all, let alone play a GAME on one. (Although frankly I couldn't anyway. The graphics make me want to go on a killing spree.) So I hope you all enjoy your expensive devices that do what an arcade could do with House of the Dead in the 90s. The Wii is dead to me. It's pretty much made by Satan.

There. Rant over. :)

Celebs That Annoy Me...

I'm in a ranty mood. So I've prepared for you a list of the top 10 celebs that annoy me. Mainly so that I can bitch about number 1, but the others have also mildly wronged me enough to deserve this. (Obviously not personally, but these people must know how annoying they are). Anywho on with the list!

10. Alexa Chung

I know absolutely nothing about Alexa Chung, the only exposure I've had to her has been in More magazine's fashion pages. They're always loving her outfits, but is it me or do her shoulders always look REALLY ODD?

She looks like she's desperately trying not to take up too much space. Her arms look...uncomfortable.

It's hard to find pictures that show this online but look in a fashion magazine and she'll be there. Boney and uncomfortable looking as ever...

9. Katie Price

 

It's not the fake boobs. Fake tan. Hair extensions. The horrible accent. The fact that she made a TV show out of her marriage, and then her divorce. The trashy novels that could have been written by a sexually-active 8 year old. Not EVEN the annoying nasal voice. Nope, what get's me about dear ol' Katie is her indecisiveness about what we should call her. When I first became aware of her massive boobs and celebrity status she was "Jordan". It was short and easy to remember. Now she wants a first AND last name that are completely different to anything I've heard before?! You're some famous dick I care nothing for. You get one allocated name space in my brain. You are Jordan. Stop being a ho.

8. Ellie Goulding

This is the first picture I saw of Ellie, and frankly, she looks like she's wearing a nappy. And a wig. To be honest I found it pretty unsettling and assumed she was some kind of bed-wetting transvestite and subsequently erased her from my memory. But then I heard "Under the Sheets" and "The Writer" and decided to give the weak-bladdered cross dresser a second chance. But the bitch threw it back in my face when she murdered Your Song. Fuck you Ellie fucking Goulding, you have a ridiculous surname, it reminds me of ghosts.

7. Jim Carrey

 

 I don't care what any of you have to say on the matter, Jim Carrey is an annoying narcissistic twat who tries too hard. In real life I bet you any amount of money he's an asshole. He is not funny nor has he ever been. Luckily Bruce Almighty had the awesome combination of Morgan Freeman and Steve Carrell in, or I might've killed myself being forced to watch it in RE.

6. Justin Bieber

Seriously, what are they going to do when this guy's balls drop????

5. & 4. Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart

  Aside from the obvious reasons I shouldn't really have to explain about; has anyone else noticed how heavily photoshopped these guys are?? And have you ever seen them smile?? I don't know about you but I don't find either of them attractive. Seems like a lot of fuss over nothing. Like 2012 or Big Brother.

3. Katy Perry

 

 She used to be coooool. She sang songs that were remotely interesting. Now all she does it wear a stupid blue wig, fawn over Russell Brand and try and copy Gaga. Eurgh

2. The Black Eyed Peas.

They obviously let Where is the Love? go to their heads, as everything they've made since sucks. Like their new one, Time of my Life or whatever the fuck it's called? It was a crap song before they got to it, but somehow they seem to have made it even worse. I hate them even more than JLS, and that's saying something.

But I would endure all of these people to save myself from the horror of...

1. Tim Minchin

Tim Minchin is a boring twat. All his "jokes" are stupidly predictable, and he's trying waaay too hard to be wacky and different, ditch the eyeliner and cut your hair you HIPPY. I have never enjoyed anything he has ever said ever, and even being in a room where he's on tv makes me want to start killing people. I would rather watch Twilight on repeat for a century with Katy Perry, JLS and The Black Eyed Peas for company (I'd invite Justin Bieber too but I think the film is a 15 therefore a bit too old for him) than be exposed to even one second of his mindless shit. There I said it. Deal with it. He sucks more than Team America combined with Chitty Chitty Bang Bang combined with SHIT. I would rather go to a pantomime starring Barbara Winsor, Les Dennis and HITLER. I would rather be locked in a London public toilet with OJ Simpson, Peter Andre and Michael Jackson's corpse.

Yeah you get my point.

On the other hand, I LOVE Adam West :D