In April, no-one can hear you scream...

     

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Lord of... the... taxi? Uhhh...

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This is why we don't let Dan near knives...

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If anyone needs me I'll be in the cupboard...

This is literally where I am right now. Psychology reports are hard. And I don't understand statistics. Like, at all. :/
Oddly enough, I didn't find Narnia in there...

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AWKWARD TURTLE

Hey all, just a quickie, should be in bed, gotta get up at like 8! D:

But I've gotta say;

In Lord of the Rings - Return of the King, does anyone feel really awkward when Aragorn randomly starts singing?

I mean, he spends the whole 3 films being all manly and buff (yummmm! :P), but then decides to do a Disney style Burst Into Song Moment?! 

I mean at this point, even Frodo is more masculine than him, and I would bet my house poor old Baggins Junior is a closet homosexual! 

Poor Arwen, she finally gets her sexy ranger, and he goes all Choir on her. Eurgh. I bet even the elves are doing awkward turtle at this point. 

Yup, thats right Aragorn, you've done tons of badass shit, so go get wasted with Gimli and Long-Haired-Puff-Whose-Name-Escapes-Me. Don't sing.

That is all.

Christianity Vs Star Wars

For most of my life I have been exposed to both Christianity, and Star Wars, and I've decided to investigate which one I think would leave you feeling more fulfilled and self actualized. I will address a number of conflicts before finally concluding which is the better option. 

What would you rather have in a fight? A crucifix, or a Lightsaber? I think most sensible people would choose the latter. In the end how much damage could you really do with a weighty piece of metal, maybe a good bash to the back of the head might cause unconsciousness, but you're never going to get a certain kill without brains squirting out everywhere and in your face. Messy. Whereas with a Lightsaber you can cut your enemies clean in half. And ain't nobody getting up after that. Fact. Lightsabers even look more godly and awesome. They're made of light. Not pussy gold. Score one for Star Wars!

Here's my next question for you boys and girls out there, which would you rather do? Endure a lengthy church service, or watch Empire Strikes Back? Star Wars addresses a lot of the issues the church does, for example:

• Selflessness - like when Luke goes to rescue Han and Leia from Darth Vader
• Love - between Han and Leia
• Family Issues - I am your father!
• Life After Death - Ghostly Obi-Wan
• Global Warming - There's blatantly an ice age on Hoth

Star Wars even addresses issues like incest in Return of the Jedi. Win/Win.

Who would you rather have on your side? God? or The Force? Do you want to spend weeks praying for something? Or take matters into your own hands by telekinesis, sensing danger, seeing the future and all the other advantages The Force brings, without you having to ask a deity first. Sure if put to the test God probably could overpower The Force, but it seems to me like that guy never really does anything.

Now, how would you rather learn about your religion? In a Sunday School with a teacher who is probably either a virgin or paedophile, neither of which can offer a particularly good view of the world, or learn hands on by becoming a Jedi Padawan? You could be spending your Sunday morning praying and learning about hell/chastity, or be surrounded by admiration, glory and swooning men/women due to the fact that you recently blew up an Imperial Star Destroyer.

However. Being a Christian means no sex before marriage. Being a Jedi means no sex ever. Which would be a massive trade off. However Anakin managed to keep his marriage on the down low, so you probably could too. So I think Star Wars wins hands down. But unfortunately, The Force doesn't exist. Neither does God. So we don't really even need to choose. What a waste of my life writing this.